The Loss Wound

Are you a victim of the loss wound?

You’ll often find words like “abandonment,” “betrayal,” and “neglect” populating the mental health space. Despite being prominent wounds, these terms fail to address an important – and often neglected – concept: the loss wound.

Perhaps its silent nature makes this wound comparatively less talked about. After all, the heart wrenching feeling of losing someone is so personal to the individual. It’s hard to talk about, too – but that doesn’t mean you need to suffer in silence.

How does the Loss Wound come about?

The loss wound is self-explanatory. It arises from loss, particularly if you’ve lost someone dear to you, like a friend, family member, or pet. But, it can also stem from the loss of property or a place (e.g., hometown, a place that sparks childhood memories) or a job or position of power (status), etc.

The strangest thing about loss is that it may come without warning. Or, sometimes, you can see it coming from far away, like a midnight train, but can do little to stop it.

Though most commonly associated with death of a loved one, the lost wound may also develop after ending a long-term romantic relationship or friendship. Or, some people may develop a sense of loss after struggling to maintain a healthy connection with a living parent or child.

Common fears associated with the Loss Wound

Losing a loved one is often enough to make a person want to protect those people who are still with them. This commonly manifests in individuals who have lost a close family member through death.

However, those who have lost someone due to a negative experience or fight may grieve differently. They may enter a self-blame spiral and regret engaging in any behaviours that may have pushed their loved one away. They may also become fearful of their own habits or untameable emotions, particularly if they lost a loved one due to an angry argument.

Some of the common fears that arise from the loss wound include;

  • Fear of being left alone or abandoned
  • Fear of stigma from society for the death of a loved one
  • Fear of commitment or forming new relationships, in case you lose them

 

Telltale signs you have this wound

People with loss wounds typically display the following characteristics:

  • Feeling like everything good will soon come to an end
  • Constantly living in fear of losing a parent, child, friend, or romantic partner
  • Clinging to the people that are still with them, or displaying extreme attachment

 

Typical beliefs arising from the Loss Wound

The loss wound can serve as a constant reminder of life’s impermanence. It may make some people live in constant fear of losing the things and people dear to them.

In cases where the loss wound resulted from parental abandonment, the victim of this wound may assume that everyone they value will eventually walk away. Such feelings typically go hand in hand with low self-esteem and an inability to trust the idea of permanence in relationships.

Healing from the Loss Wound

The most painful form of this wound comes from the death of a loved one. This can be even more acute if the loss was traumatic in some way.

Sadly, there is nothing we can do about it, but to remember them after they pass. Pain, sadness, grief, and questions can haunt you for some time. But it’s important to bear in mind that it’s rare for people to never recover from the loss of a loved one. Most of the time, they recover fully.

Avoiding the pain does not help, and, in fact, makes the outcome and recovery period longer. It is important to face the fact that the person has died, and that you need time alone to grieve and process your emotions.

You can’t move forward if you do not face your loss, accept it, get used to the new reality, and finally come back to normal routine. It may help to get invested in an activity to help take the pain away, though not too soon, as a favourite activity may transform into a way to remember the pain that’s left behind.

People might have the impression that you are going though a depressive episode, when in fact, you are grieving. Some people find it annoying to be comforted by people all the time and feel their unwanted pity over you.

If you’re grieving then it’s important to know that you will need time. And ideally, you need to be supported by those you choose to be supported by. People who you know and trust, and that can hold the space for you.

This isn’t easy for everyone to do. You don’t meed ‘fixing’, you just need time and space to process your feelings, and sometimes that means just sitting there crying, with a hug nearby if you want it.

When there is a trauma at the core of your wound

If your loss was traumatic for you, then an important part of your healing will be to heal the trauma event at the root. This means letting go of the emotional energy and weight that you’re carrying around this wound.

Traumas can be behind the triggers and fears that have arisen as a result of this wound, so healing the trauma can help all of the associated painful emotions get processed more easily. This in turn helps you to heal more easily.

Recommended Head Trash Clearances

If you would like to start healing the loss wound, then here are come clearances you do using Head Trash Clearance;

  • loss
  • acceptance
  • loneliness or isolation
  • being abandoned or left behind
  • feeling unsupported
  • being a burden
  • asking for help
  • pain (emotional)
  • sadness

 

Would you like to heal this wound?

I’ve created a Wound Healing Activation for the Loss wound. These Wound Healing Activations have been created so that you can start healing your emotional wounds yourself.

My Wound Healing Activations include;

Wound Healing Journal

My Wound Healing Journal includes lots of prompts to help you explore this wound in yourself. The questions help you to explore the various facets of our emotional wounds so that you can better understand where the wound may have come from, who’s connected to it for you, and how it shows up for you.

My Wound Healing Journal also helps you to track your healing as you work through healing the wound.

Mini-masterclass on the Wound

I’ve created a video on this wound to help you think through how the Neglect wound might be showing up for you. Watch this with the Wound Healing Journal to hand so that you can make notes and identify the various aspects of this wound you need to heal.

Healing Activation Session Audio MP3

This is a Wound Healing Activation audio that will explore the various aspects of this wound. This is deep working audio healing activation that will activate the healing within you by releasing a lot of the deeply buried memories and conflicts. This audio is equivalent to a session with me.

Head over to here check out my Wound Healing Activations

Explore other universal wounds

The Loss Wound is one of many universal wounds that we all suffer from. Find out more about these in these related blog posts

Healing audio tracks for all of these wounds can be found in The Clearance Club. The Clearance Club is a vault of head trash clearance resources to help you free your mind of stresses and anxieties, and let go of those things that getting in the way of your happiness.

Alexia Leachman
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