The psychological world is wrong. There! I said it! Negativity is a good thing in many ways.
Too much time is spent trying to think positively, blocking negative thoughts, chanting positive affirmations and focusing on images of what we want to attract in our lives. And then when feel bad or want to block out negative thoughts we take medications or addictive substances. And we do this in the blind belief that positive thoughts are the only ones allowed.
But hold up! Negativity is a good thing. Really. And, we all experience the wonders of negativity daily. OK, let me give you some examples before you think I’ve truly lost the plot.
You’re about to embark on a new venture, a business or relationship that you have been focusing on. You’re really excited and have told all your friends about it. Then you learn something new. The business is not all it seems; maybe it’s losing vast amounts of money or there is corruption afoot. Or maybe the person you thought you knew is different, a bad past aggressive, a bully or a cheat. Do you really want to keep feeling good and having positive feelings about your venture? No!
Negativity is your best friend when in balance. You should thank and appreciate the signals your negative thoughts and feelings give you, because they are there for your PROTECTION. The trouble is, we’ve been conditioned to be positive and in doing so, we have learnt to ignore our friendly negative thoughts and emotional signals, so we go ahead with a bad venture or relationship. Then we get hurt, bankrupted, divorced, rejected, feel guilty, stupid, hopeless etc. These are still just signals but they are energetic signals like electricity and they get stored in our minds, thoughts, feelings, emotions and body.
Our negative signals can be very powerful. When we are too negative we have no balance, and as positivity plummets, we can’t see the woods for the trees. So we lash out at the negativity and do something different. We might get help, get drunk, take medications or drugs; anything to try and make a change. Sometimes we pull it off, but in most cases it’s a temporary solution. Then we think positive again to attract a bit of good stuff. We make new goals and relationships, and the positivity starts to work again and we feel better. YAY!
But, what if the new goal is delayed or worse still, it can’t happen? You don’t have the resources or the time or the energy to deal with it. When something good is taken away we feel bad and this negative signal is added to the rest and we are back at square one: in overload and the cycle continues. We feel bad, try and block it out, focus on positivity, feel better, something slips and we crash. All because we didn’t listen to our negative warning signals originally and now they are all muddled in a huge emotional ball mixed with conflicting thoughts hopes and anxieties. What a mess!
Positivity on the upside is brilliant; we feel and think positively when something is good for us (unless we’re already in that mess we just talked about). Positivity pulls us towards what is good or what we think is good. But, if we use positivity too much, our positive feelings can become so strong that we don’t get whatever it is, we crash and feel terrible. We’re basically piling on the pressure.
Whatever we really want in our lives makes us feel great but the opposite, or not having it will make us feel really bad. Let’s say you have a horrid boss in a job and you feel trapped. For you, a new job equals freedom. You think it about it so much that eventually it becomes so important for you to get it that if you don’t you feel terrible. You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, there’s no in between.
But what if you had listened to your negative signals earlier? Maybe you wouldn’t taken the job, or maybe you would have stood up for yourself to prevent these feelings of being trapped. If we don’t listen to these signals we risk running the same patterns over and over again. The thing about feeling trapped, is that it can force you to seek freedom. But then you become trapped in the cycle of seeking freedom!
The longer you ignore the negative signals and allow them to build up, the louder they become. Eventually, they begin to use your body to try and get your attention and that’s when weird little symptoms start creeping in.
Our body is made of electrical impulses that can be read on a standard voltmeter. Some body parts have positive electricity while some have negative. Our whole body goes more negative when we’re sleeping and healing, and more positive when we’re awake and growing. There is a fine balance by nature but our use of language and ways of living throws much of this into disarray. We go out of balance when we get stressed and diseased so that some parts of our body have too much energy flowing like a broken dam, while in others areas it’s like a drought, with no energy flowing at all. We need the balance to repair.
Balancing the excess of positivity of having what we want against the excess of negativity of not getting what we want gives us more neutrality. Neutrality is a balance of positive and negative electrical charges. It is a balance of positive and negative thoughts and emotions. But, it’s not to be confused with a neutral feeling. When you have neutrality, you have the freedom to choose how you respond to a given situation, rather than fall into your default, recurring pattern of behaviour.
Your negative signals are trying to tell you something, don’t ignore them.