When you’re on the healing journey, one thing that’s really important to know is this: how do you know you’ve healed something?
Why is it important to know whether you’ve healed?
This is a crucial question to answer, for a few reasons. Let me share those with you.
You know whether to carry on or move on
Without knowing if you’ve healed, you don’t know whether to carry on trying to heal The Thing, or move onto heal something else.
When you’ve got a lot of healing to do, not being able to tell whether you’ve healed something can make your healing journey seem pretty overwhelming.
Gives focus to your effort
Healing takes effort. It’s a lot of work! Not only is it emotionally draining, but it can also be time consuming. And, if you’re using a therapist it can also be expensive.
How does it help you to know whether you’ve healed?
Knowing whether you’ve healed something will tell you
1. If what you’re doing is working
If it’s working, you can double down on it and continue to get results. And, if it’s not working, you can stop doing that and try something else instead.
2. That your effort is paying off
This is a biggie. When you put so much time, effort or money into something, knowing it’s working can be a huge relief. And brings a sense of fulfilment or achievement.
So how can you tell if you’ve healed something?
3 ways to tell that you’ve healed
Let me share with you the three ways you can tell if you’ve healed something.
You don’t remember
This is particularly relevant if you’re healing the emotional pain from something that happened to you, say a traumatic event. Once you’ve healed it you will struggle to recollect it at the same level of detail as before. You might not necessarily forget it entirely, it depends on the event (but you might). This is why it’s best to hold off on healing events that are the subject of court cases where you might need to talk about it or describe things in detail.
If there is something that triggers you and you decide to heal it, when you’re healed you will struggle to remember why this thing was so triggering for you. It will puzzle you.
Another way of expressing this is that you struggle to connect to it in the same way. It simply doesn’t pull any emotional strings anymore. So while you may still recall the traumatic event or the trigger, it doesn’t trigger anything in you anymore. And as much as you can try, you can’t muster up any emotions around it.
This is one of the reasons that I encourage people to journal during their clearances (using Head Trash Clearance to heal something). At the beginning I invite you to jot down how The Thing shows up for you… as voices in your head, or how it makes your body feel etc. Once you’ve healed you’re just not bothered by it anymore.
Which leads me onto the next way you can tell…
This could also be described as I don’t care, or it doesn’t matter or I’m not bothered any more.
This is the most common in my opinion because this is the one that you experience in healing all the ‘smaller’ things on your healing journey.
Let’s say you’ve been focussed on healing the worry you have about what other people think of you. Once you’ve healed this you come to realise that
It doesn’t matter what other people think you
You don’t care what other people think of you
Who cares what other people think of you?
You’re not actually bothered what people think of you.
Not caring is not the same as not caring that a teenage would blurt out in anger or defiance. This ‘Not Caring’ comes with no emotion. You simply don’t care. You’re not bothered. It just doesn’t matter to you, either way.
This shouldn’t be confused with tolerance or being a walkover. When there is something you believe in and where you feel it’s important to stand up for yourself, you can do that. And when you do, it’s more impactful BECAUSE it’s lacking in emotion. When have emotional outbursts, what we say gets clouded by the emotions that come with it.
People are more likely to ‘receive’ or ‘hear’ the emotional part of your communication, rather than the actual content of your communication. Once you strip the emotion out, your words have more impact. This is why it is so important to do healing work for your professional life and your relationships.
This is the emotional state you will feel when you’ve done a fair bit of healing. You will be in a state of joy, bliss and love. Compassion will come naturally to you, and things around you will simply not affect you like they once used to. Stress, fear, and anxiety are far behind you, and you feel lighter. You’re happy.
Healing makes you feel lighter. My clients are always saying how much lighter they feel after a clearance session. This is because you’ve just let go of loads of heavy emotional energy. This lightness and levity come through as cheery and smiles.