Do you suffer from the humiliation wound?
Perhaps you keep choosing partners or friends that humiliate you. Or maybe you find that you keep doing things for others when they don’t even appreciate it. Do you feel guilty for treating yourself? If any of these resonate, then you are more than likely suffering from the humiliation wound.
Humiliation is the loss of pride which leads to a state of surrender or submission. It’s where someone is made to feel embarrassed or ashamed. We can all relate to those experiences at school when we were asked to read out loud and made a mistake.
Perhaps you can remember a time that something happened and you were laughed at. Maybe there are times in your life when people deliberately humiliated you.
Any one of these experiences could be responsible for the humiliation wound.
How the Humiliation Wound arises
This wound often arises in childhood and can be from a time where they felt humiliated or criticised by a parent. So something as simple as making a mess, getting their clothes dirty or breaking something.
Humiliation can be described as an extreme and sometimes acute feeling of shame an individual may feel, especially after an event. It’s less about the event itself, and more about how the person felt as a result of the event; the emotional impact. The emotion triggered in those moments could be shame, guilt, anger or even submission.
Humiliation should not be confused with humility; a humble person does not forgo their dignity and identity as a person. What’s different about humiliation is that it often dehumanises people to the point that they lose themselves, and they lose any sense of pleasure, or the ability to feel happiness. This means that you feel guilty about pleasure.
How the Humiliation Wound shows up
This wound manifests in several ways, some of which might mot be immediately obvious or related;
- You frequently feel ashamed of yourself. It might be that you get involved in situations that make you feel ridiculous or choose partners who humiliate or belittle you.
- You don’t allow yourself to go at your own pace. Perhaps you feel you’re going too slow or too fast. Or, you might feel feel ashamed for not being able to reach the same pace as others.
- People pleasing. You have a tendency to give too much to other people. You put aside your own needs for others and do everything for them.
- You struggle to treat yourself. Buying things of value is a struggle for you, because you think you don’t deserve them.
- You disrespect yourself. You self-deprecate, put yourself down and blame yourself easily.
- Indecisive and insecure. You worry what other people think of you, whicb can make you shy. This also feeds your people pleaser tendencies.
- Criticism cuts deep. You’re easily hurt and hyper sensitive and so you’re easily affected by criticism and people not agreeing with you.
- You feel responsible for others’ happiness. This means that you might take charge of things that aren’t yours to take charge of. This can lead to feeling overwhelmed with the responsibility (even though it’s not yours).
- You don’t think you’re enough. You usually do too much: help too much, feel too much, work too much, are too nice…to make up for not feeling enough.
- Sex is problematic. You accept things in sex that you don’t want to do to please the other person. You might also struggle with pleasure, feeling guilty for it.
Interestingly, forms of humiliation or self-humiliation can be desirable by certain individuals during sex, or as sexual acts. It is important to mention though, that this form is the only consensual form of humiliation.
The humiliation wound makes it more likely that you accept all forms of degradation, even self-imposed.
More tell-tale signs you have this wound
Signs of the humiliation wound include feelings of anger, shame and guilt. In time, these intense emotions may become overwhelming and can lead to long-term psychological issues.
Here are more tell-tale signs that you might have this wound;
- You don’t feel worthy of being loved.
- You take little care of yourself, your body, your appearance.
- If you are harassed or molested, you may think it’s your fault.
- You are overly afraid of punishment or negative consequences
- Rather than take charge, you often leave things to “take their own way”.
Common fears associated with the Humiliation Wound
As with all wounds, they can bring about certain fears and beliefs. When the original events took place that embedded the wound, we would have tried to make sense of those experiences afterwards. In doing so, we would have come up with meanings about ourselves or the world. These meanings would have established some beliefs and fears that we may still carry today.
The Humiliation wound can often trigger the following negative feelings and fears;
- Fear of other people’s negative opinions
- Unable to express an opinion in fear of rejection
- Feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness
- Self-hate and hating others or fear of other people
Healing from the Humiliation Wound
As with other wounds, the first start is to acknowledge you have the wound. Even though you might not remember any particular incident, the chances are that this wound is there. It might be a mild wound, but can still have an impact on your life.
It may be that you have experienced lots of situations that on their own might not be worthy of a second glance, but together they’ve created a deep wound. What can make this a difficult wound to heal is that it can be painful to accept that you feel or felt ridiculed, both by others and yourself.
Healing the wound of humiliation will allow you to react less emotionally to disrespectful situations and to be able to defend yourself. It helps you to reinforce your boundaries.
It will also require you to dial-up behaviours that are more beneficial to you, learning that you are worthy of being loved by becoming aware of your value.
You will also have to learn to make others respect you. But this means that you will regain your dignity.
Opening your eyes to its existence can help you to heal in profound ways.
If you would like to start healing the loss wound, then here are come clearances you do using Head Trash Clearance;
- being humiliated
- being laughed at
- being lied to or betrayed
- lack of trust, loss of trust
- being mocked or ridiculed
- being worthy
Would you like to heal this wound?
I’ve created a Wound Healing Activation for the Humiliation wound. These Wound Healing Activations have been created so that you can start healing your emotional wounds yourself.
My Wound Healing Activations include;
Wound Healing Journal
My Wound Healing Journal includes lots of prompts to help you explore this wound in yourself. The questions help you to explore the various facets of our emotional wounds so that you can better understand where the wound may have come from, who’s connected to it for you, and how it shows up for you.
My Wound Healing Journal also helps you to track your healing as you work through healing the wound.
Mini-masterclass on the Wound
I’ve created a video on this wound to help you think through how the Neglect wound might be showing up for you. Watch this with the Wound Healing Journal to hand so that you can make notes and identify the various aspects of this wound you need to heal.
Healing Activation Session Audio MP3
This is a Wound Healing Activation audio that will explore the various aspects of this wound. This is deep working audio healing activation that will activate the healing within you by releasing a lot of the deeply buried memories and conflicts. This audio is equivalent to a session with me.
Explore other universal wounds
The Humiliation Wound is one of many universal wounds that we all suffer from. Find out more about these in these related blog posts
- The Injustice Wound
- The Trust Wound
- The Scarcity Wound
- The Betrayal Wound
- The Loss Wound
- The Neglect Wound
- The Guilt Wound
- The Abandonment Wound
- The Rejection Wound
Healing audio tracks for all of these wounds can be found in The Clearance Club. The Clearance Club is a vault of head trash clearance resources to help you free your mind of stresses and anxieties, and let go of those things that getting in the way of your happiness.