Do you have a rejection wound?
Rejection is something we can all relate to. But some of us find it harder than others.
I remember being shown this quite clearly when I was at university. I spent a year in France, and the difference in the guys’ approach to girls was staggering. In the UK, most of the guys had to get drunk before they could face going up someone they liked and asking her out, or offering her a drink etc.
In France, we would get guys coming up to us ALL THE TIME. And when we said no, they just shrugged it off and smiled and moved on. Rejection for them was no biggie, and yet for their Brit counterparts, their fear of rejection was so great that they needed the crutch of alcohol deal with it.
Why do some people struggle with rejection more than others?
One important aspect is the meaning we hold around the experience of rejection.
Some people will take the rejection personally. They will think that this rejection means that they’re not good enough in some way;
- not good looking enough
- not smart enough
- not competent enough
Those that shrug the rejection off more easily, will likely have different meanings.
Perhaps things like;
- I’m not the right person
- They’re not available
- We’re not a good fit
- They’re not ready or interested
- It’s not the right time
- They’re otherwise busy
- They’ve found someone else more suitable
I suspect this is where the difference in guys’ reaction between the Brits and the French comes from. Cultural conditioning creates different meanings for our experiences.
But the difference in meanings can only take us so far in coping with rejection. Especially if there are some deeper emotional wounds present around the theme of rejection.
The Rejection Wound
The rejection wound is considered to be a universal wound and common to many of us.
It can originate very early on in life; from the moment of conception until your first year of age. The rejection wound can come from a feeling of not being accepted or being rejected by a parent or caregiver. It’s important to realise that this is how a new infant is experiencing the world. So even something innocent as a mother putting her new baby to sleep in a cot in another room just so that she can get some sleep, could be experienced by the child as rejection. This is what makes this wound so widespread and universal.
Anyone who suffers from the rejection wound feels undeserving of affection and understanding. This leads to thoughts of rejection, of being undesirable, or of being worthless. When we have a wound like this, it can mean that it doesn’t take much for thoughts like this to surface.
Those who have been rejected as children tend to become elusive adults, preferring time on their own where they are safe from potential rejection or abandonment.
How the rejection wound shows up
Here are some ways that the rejection wound shows up in day-to-day life;
- You hold back from putting yourself forward for things as you just assume you will get rejected
- You take rejections to heart and they can affect you deeply
- You’re dissatisfied with who you are
- You see yourself as a meaningless person, someone who is not worthy
- You have a lack of self-respect, which can in turn mean poor personal boundaries
- You have moments when you consider yourself a family freak
- You have a tendency to escape into alcohol, drugs, sudden trips, virtual games – anything to escape your current reality
- You have a rich imagination – you like to create an alternative reality for yourself
- Your tendency to withdraw from others can lead to isolation and loneliness.
- You anchor in the material world by being busy and giving yourself plenty of things to do.
- You’re a perfectionist and like things to be just so.
Recommended Head Trash Clearances
If you would like to weaken this wound, here are some useful things you can add to your Head Trash Clearance To-do List.
- being rejected
- perfection, being perfect
- respect, self respect
- being worthy
- being deserving
Watch this video on the rejection wound
This is taken from my podcast episode entitled: 5 emotional wounds we all suffer from
Would you like to heal this wound?
I’ve created a Wound Healing Activation for the Rejection wound. These Wound Healing Activations have been created so that you can start healing your emotional wounds yourself.
My Wound Healing Activations include;
Wound Healing Journal
My Wound Healing Journal includes lots of prompts to help you explore this wound in yourself. The questions help you to explore the various facets of our emotional wounds so that you can better understand where the wound may have come from, who’s connected to it for you, and how it shows up for you.
My Wound Healing Journal also helps you to track your healing as you work through healing the wound.
Mini-masterclass on the Wound
I’ve created a video on this wound to help you think through how the Neglect wound might be showing up for you. Watch this with the Wound Healing Journal to hand so that you can make notes and identify the various aspects of this wound you need to heal.
Healing Activation Session Audio MP3
This is a Wound Healing Activation audio that will explore the various aspects of this wound. This is deep working audio healing activation that will activate the healing within you by releasing a lot of the deeply buried memories and conflicts. This audio is equivalent to a session with me.
Explore other universal wounds
The Rejection Wound is one of many universal wounds that we all suffer from. Find out more about these in these related blog posts
- The Injustice Wound
- The Trust Wound
- The Scarcity Wound
- The Betrayal Wound
- The Loss Wound
- The Neglect Wound
- The Guilt Wound
- The Abandonment Wound
- The Humiliation Wound
Healing audio tracks for all of these wounds can be found in The Clearance Club. The Clearance Club is a vault of head trash clearance resources to help you free your mind of stresses and anxieties, and let go of those things that getting in the way of your happiness.