The idea of being unfuckwithable is something that more and more people are laying claim to. But what does it mean?

What does it mean to be unfuckwithable?

I’ve always been pretty clear in my mind what it means, but I was curious so I decided to ask my network. Good job I did, because three main themes came out and I learned how other people think about what being unfuckwithable means. Thankfully one of mine was in there!

Being unfuckwithable is being unapologetically you

This is about knowing who you are and owning it unashamedly.

Not toning yourself down… in case you come across as ‘too much’.

Not pretending to be someone else … who might be liked more.

Not hiding aspects of you … in case people don’t like them.

Not staying quiet on what you believe… in case people are offended.

This means that you’re not a people pleaser.

When you’re being YOU, you don’t care whether some people might not like you. You’re not bothered about offending someone’s sensitivities. You’re definitely not changing who you are to get other people’s approval.

The only person you set out to please is yourself (and your conscience).

Smiling and being nice

Weirdly it also probably means that you when you’re being unapologetically you, you don’t smile as much.

Most people smile and are nice because they want people to like them. This is just people pleasing with your face. Your face is part of your self-expression and when you’re being unapologetically you, if you don’t feel like smiling you won’t.

Being unfuckwithable is about being true to you, no matter what.

Being unfuckwithable is carving your own path

This is about pursuing your heart’s desires, no matter how challenging or difficult the path may be.

It’s doing things YOUR way, no matter how unconventional or atypical.

It’s zigging where others zag because it feels right for you.

Being unfuckwithable about your path in life is about not giving up because it’s hard or scary. It’s about not taking the easy route if it means doing something you don’t enjoy or feel passionately about. It’s about being persistent and determined despite the bumps and scrapes. Sure you might hit tricky times or hardship, but it doesn’t crush you. You are unfuckwithable, after all.

Being unfuckwithable is about choosing a path and not being swayed off it, no matter what.

Being unfuckwithable is not losing it

One phrase that came up quite a bit when I asked people what being unfuckwithable means was this

“Don’t fuck with me!”

But what does this phrase mean?

Does it mean …

“Don’t fuck with me, as you’ll be wasting your time.”

Or does it mean…

“Don’t fuck with me because if you do
I’ll unleash all manner of shit on your sorry ass”

I think this last one has a whiff of ruling by fear about it. And while I think it has some validity, I’m not sure it sits in the being unfuckwithable camp.

When I think of people not fucking with me, it’s not that they don’t try, it’s that they don’t manage to. Period. They can try all they want, but it doesn’t fuck with me. There’s a difference there.

It’s about whether they knock you off your perch.

They can shake the branch as much as they like, but you don’t fall off. You might not even notice the branch is shaking.

Your inner balance is on point.

This is very different to someone approaching the branch, shaking it and stopping because the person on the branch has fought back. In fighting back you might actually fall off the branch.

That is NOT being unfuckwithable.

Quite the contrary. If that’s you, then you will not be enjoying the view from your branch. You’ll be sitting there like a centurion on look-out trying to look very scary to anyone who even thinks about shaking your branch. That’s because you don’t have the inner balance to withstand any shaking of the branch, so you use fear to stop people from trying.

Being unfuckwithable is the inner knowing that people and situations can test you and shit on your parade, but that it won’t affect you.

You will still be in your power.

You won’t crumble.

You won’t lose your shit.

You won’t throw a hail of bullets their way.

You’ll just carry on with your day.

Being unfuckwithable is about being able to stay in your power, no matter what.

For me that is true unfuckability.

Alexia Leachman
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