Resistance is what it sounds like. Something that hinders you or slows you down. When the resistance is so great, it can stop you altogether.
The brakes on your bike are a form of resistance. They help you to slow down, but push hard enough and you stop.
The same kind of resistance happens in our minds. And given that our mind are the root of our thoughts and behaviours, this means that any resistance we have will be responsible for slowing us down or stopping us when it comes to our desires and goals.
How does resistance show up?
What does it look like? How can we spot it?
Let’s say something is happening that you don’t like – it’s just started raining – your resistance will be responsible for saying things like:
I can’t believe it’s raining… again!
Hmmmph! When is it going to stop raining??
This rain is a nightmare; I can’t do anything!
If you had no resistance to the rain, then you probably wouldn’t even notice the rain, or if you did you wouldn’t be bothered by it. Your self-talk would be more like this:
Oh, it’s raining. Did I close the windows?
I love the smell of rain.
Great! It’s raining, no need to water the plants.
Whenever you feel the need to complain, this is your resistance speaking.
Spoiler alert! People who complain a lot tend to have a lot of head trash.
It hates stuff
This is closely tied into complaining, but it’s not the same because we don’t only complain about the things we hate.
If you complain about the rain, it’s probably not because you hate the rain. It’s just that at that moment you’re prickly – because of the amount of head trash you have – and you feel the need to complain. If it was really sunny and too hot, you’d be complaining about that too.
When we hate something, we hold a lot of hate energy for it. Energy that we can’t just let go of.
Let’s take pain for example. Most people hate pain and will do whatever they can to avoid experiencing pain. This means they will put the brakes on any experiences that might be painful; visiting the dentist, having an injection, having a splinter pulled out. This usually shows up as avoidance where they do whatever they can to NOT experience the thing.
When we hate something, this is when our resistance is usually the strongest.
The good thing about this kind of resistance is that it’s very conscious. We KNOW we hate pain, and we know that we’re not going to the dentist because it’s all about the pain.
This is very different to the next way that resistance shows up: as our fears.
This is very closely related to the things we hate. This is because we usually hate the things we fear, but not always.
The thought of doing a parachute jump could be equally terrifying as exciting. The moments leading up to it might be terrifying, but once the leap is taken, the fear is gone and it becomes an incredible experience we want to repeat.
Surprisingly we tend to fear the things we really want. Our life’s desires often contain a level of fear for us but we’re not always aware of these fears. Your big life dreams will probably come hand in hand with some fears, but when you think about them, your conscious mind will tend to focus on the the positive aspects of your dream. Your emotional system, on the other hand – your subconscious – will be considering the negative aspects too. And if they’re strong enough, then the fearful part of you will put the brakes on and create resistance.
This might happen entirely subconsciously and you won’t even be aware of it; as far as you’re concerned, you’re aiming for your life goals and doing everything you can. However, subconsciously, your fears are sabotaging you at every turn.
Or you might be aware of the fears you have around your life goals and in your mind you’re being super cautious or you’re “thinking it through”.
We had dreamed for along time about leaving the UK to move to the south of France. With two kids at school and a nice home in a city we knew well, there was a lot to lose or that could go wrong. Excuses would show up all the time for me and it would put the brakes on the dream. Until one day we bit the bullet and made it happen. Well, HE made it happen 😉
We’re still in the process of making it happen because moving countries during a pandemic is not a smooth process by any means, but one thing is certain: we wonder why we waited so long to make it happen.
The answer is simple: fear!
Our fears created resistance and put the brakes on our dream. But not any more!
It gives us excuses
I bet there are times in your life when there’s something that you have to do – maybe even something you WANT to do – and you don’t do it. When you think about doing it, excuses pop up.
Let’s say you promised a friend to make them something special for their birthday. They really want to try this dish from somewhere far and foreign, and you said you’d give it a go and invite them round so that you can enjoy it together. The problem is that every time you think about doing it you come up with a load of reasons – excuses – for not doing it.
What if I make a bad decision and choose the wrong recipe/ingredients?
I’ll probably do it wrong and mess everything up.
It’s going to taste awful – what kind of present is that going to be?
They’re not going to like it. I’ll buy them something instead.
All of these are fears in disguise. That’s to say, when they pop into your head they sound perfectly reasonable and they don’t sound like fears. After all, we’re talking about a making a dish here. Not moving countries.
But excuses like this are coming from a place of fear:
What if I make a bad decision?
What if I mess things up?
What if I disappoint the ones I love?
These fears will be showing up everywhere and not just when faced with making a new dish.
When we have fears like this, they will crop up in all sorts of places
- choosing a restaurant or film for a friends night out
- deciding whether to take a new job
- moving countries
- choosing/buying a new outfit
Same fears, different situations. But still the same fears.
How to let go of resistance
Now that you’re better able to spot resistance, your next trick will be letting go of it.
The easy part is this: use Head Trash Clearance to get rid of your resistance. It works a dream.
Here are some possible clearances you could do to get going:
- being blocked
- being in flow
- being stuck
Beyond that, you need to dig into what you’re resisting, and whether there are any fears that are showing up for you.