I’m not the first person to say this so it shouldn’t be news to you, but if you want to change the world start with yourself. The “world” doesn’t have to be some grandiose idea about changing humanity, it can be as simple as changing YOUR world. And this couldn’t be truer when it comes to your stresses.
If you find yourself being stressed out by LIFE and the people in it, maybe it’s time for you to take a look in the mirror, because maybe it’s YOU that’s creating the stress in the first place.
Hear me out!
When you’re stressed, people will pick up on your stress… maybe not consciously, but it will be affecting them on some level. And this is even more so when it comes to your kids. If your kids are running riot and stressing you out, maybe they’re simply responding to your stressy state; your stress is stresssing them out which is making them go a wee bit crazy.
Something happened to me on holiday this year which really brought this home to me. And it involved VOMIT! I want to share it with you because it really brings this idea to smelly light.
Our holiday this year involved quite a bit of driving… airports and planes with a 10 month old is NOT a holiday! But, my two girls are prone to being sick in the car and this is something that completely stresses me out. I think I was traumatised when my eldest was one and she was being sick in the back while I was doing a long drive on my own. We were in road works and I couldn’t stop the car… All I could hear was liquidy vomit gurgling in her throat and splatting everywhere, and I was panicking that she was choking on it. It was horrible! Not to mention the state of the car! And the smell! Ever since, long journeys get me stressed before we start because of my fear of vomit and either one of them being sick. Looking back, that was clearly the moment that my fear of vomit was instilled.
So I was just starting one such journey; a 4-hour drive to Wales. I was picking up my French Aunt at the airport on the way. Timing was everything and stresses were high. Once we picked her up I knew we’d have to stop the car soon… preventative measures and a possible nappy change… We were just over an hour into the journey.
We got back into the car and things seemed to go ok for a while. Then the the little one started whimpering. That was it! I was sure this was a cue to an imminent vomit fest, so you can imagine what state I was in. We stopped for some fresh air and a bit of a wander around some greenery. And then we stopped again. And again. There was no vomit, but as far as I was concerned this was because I was managing this situation beautifully… ha! #delusional
My aunt dared to suggest that the only reason she was crying was because she was picking up on my stress-vibes, and that I needed to do the work i.e. clear my head trash! Ha! Perceptive lady!
By the time we reached our destination, our 4-hour drive had turned into a day trip. Not good. So when the time came for the return journey I knew I had to do some head trash clearance before we started. I needed to shake my fear of vomit stress. The practical stuff was done as I had already covered the back seats in loads of blankets, so really I just needed to sort my head out.
So using Head Trash Clearance I worked on clearing my fear of kids vomiting in the car , and then just vomit and people vomitting (loving and hating vomit etc). It didn’t take me long and I only did the super quick emergency version. Once that was done, I was super chilled about the thought of vomit. In fact I didn’t care. They could be sick all over the place for all I could care. The car would be fine, they would be fine. IT’S OK!
So we set off on our 4-hour journey. It wasn’t long before they fell asleep. An hour into the journey and just before the motorway (we were in Wales remember!) I stopped for diesel and a pee. And then I could finally put my foot down. And I did! They were asleep so I wanted to get as many miles done before they woke up and felt sick.
And then that’s when it started getting weird. Weird as in NORMAL. The 10 month old woke up and started singing and playing with her toys. Then after a bit, she fell back asleep. The 4-year old who never sleeps for more than an hour in the car just kept sleeping.
My aunt and I were getting hungry and wanted to stop for a drink and a snack but as long as they were both asleep we thought we’d best carry on. Surely it would be better to just get back as soon as possible. Thank goodness I went for a pee back in Wales!
The miles were zipping by and my two kids were still sleeping. I was super chilled because I didn’t really care if they would be sick, I just wanted to get home. And the crazy thing is that they just kept sleeping. They finally woke up when I got off the motorway 20 minutes from home. THEY SLEPT for 3 1/2 hours! They NEVER sleep for that long! EVER! Not on any car journey, nor at home!
We ended up doing the journey in one go.
I couldn’t believe it. I know I shouldn’t be surprised, because I know that doing this clearance work works. I’ve had so many tangible results over the years that I really shouldn’t be surprised, but I was. I never for one minute thought that them being sick was linked to the stress I was feeling at fearing the possibility that they might be sick.
Now, I’m not saying that kids being sick in the car is because their parents are stressed, but for some it might be. And it was certainly the case for me.
So, if you find yourself being triggered by situations and people around you, perhaps it’s time to take a moment to reflect and figure out if you might be contributing to it somehow.