In this week’s episode, I dive into a rich and candid conversation with Allen. Our focus? Allen’s fascinating and transformative journey to self-regulation.

Allen, with his openness and vulnerability, shared his deeply personal experience of seeking self-regulation as a means to cope with the challenges that life was throwing his way.

Allen’s powerful four-year journey to self-regulation, began amid business closures and a challenging divorce, and propelled him into a profound process of self-rebuilding.

YouTube video

What is Self-Regulation?

Self-regulation is sometimes referred to as nervous system regulation, the concept of emotional regulation is the capacity to feel secure within yourself. It enables you to actively engage with life’s complexities and choose your responses to life’s triggers and challenges.

Basically you’re able to stay calm in the face of things that might have otherwise knocked you off your perch. In my language this is being unfuckwithable. I’ve written a blog post on that which you can read here

READ THE BLOG: What is it to be unfuckwithable?

Trauma, Belief Systems and Archetypes

The conversation delved into many of my favourite topics as we ventured into the intertwined threads of trauma, belief systems, and archetypes, uncovering how these elements shape our behaviours and perceptions.

Allen also shares with us his journey in confronting and reshaping various traumas, including ancestral and in utero trauma, highlighting the profound impact of our early and childhood experiences.

What struck a chord with me was his poignant account of isolation during a particularly tricky period in his life, and how he channeled it into a profound inward journey. His insistence on “trauma hunting” and the unrelenting pursuit of inner clarity ignited a powerful sense of growth and self-understanding. Allen is my kind of human!

Allen’s Self-Regulation Practices

The episode was topped off with Allen sharing his self-regulation practices, including meditation, engaging in substance-based ceremonies, and the use of devices like Apollo Neuro.

It’s so fascinating to hear how others integrate various tools into their healing and personal growth journeys.

Resources mentioned during this episode

In this episode, we discuss various resources and practices that have helped Allen in his personal growth journey towards self-regulation.

Here are the resources and practices mentioned:

1. Meditation: Allen talked about the importance of daily and weekly meditation as part of his self-care routine.

2. Journaling: Allen also mentions journaling for presence and personal growth. Also known as reflective writing, it can help you to process your thoughts, emotions, and experiences, leading to increased self-awareness and understanding.

3. Daily Supplements: Allen incorporates the use of daily supplements as part of his self-care routine, which may include vitamins or other health-enhancing products.

4. Supportive Community: Both Allen and myself talk about the value of having a community of support for the healing journey. This is why I provide my Head Trash Healers access to online communities so that they can get support on their healing journey.

5. Trauma Work and Exploration: Allen discusses the concept of “trauma hunting” with his wife, a process of exploring trauma to identify and address its impact on behaviour and mental well-being. This involves delving into conscious and unconscious trauma, including ancestral trauma, DNA trauma, and in utero trauma, and how it guides an individual’s emotional blueprint for life. If you’re interested in Trauma Hunting (and who isn’t??) then these you might be interested in these products from Head Trash;

Wound Healing Activations: These are healing MP3s that target specific life themes. they’ve been created to help you to release the emotional wounds you’re carrying around that theme.

Weekly Wound Healing: one wound healing activation delivered into your inbox every week. Small baby steps made consistently can lead to profound transformation over time. Are you in?

Heal your Hidden Wounds: We can work together to uncover and heal your hidden wounds.

6. Personal Development Retreats: In seeking personal exploration, Allen turned to personal development retreats as a resource to aid in his journey of self-discovery and growth.

7. Therapy: Therapy is mentioned as a valuable resource for personal exploration and healing. Seeking professional guidance can provide you with the support and tools you need to address your mental health challenges.

8. Reading and Podcasts: Allen turned to reading and podcasts as sources of knowledge and inspiration during his challenging times. Books and podcasts like mine can offer new perspectives and insights, aiding in personal growth and self-awareness.

9. Modalities and Substance-based Ceremonies: Allen mentions engaging in various modalities and substance-based ceremonies as part of his journey. These modalities may include alternative healing methods and rituals, and the use of substances can be within a therapeutic and intentional context.

10. Apollo Neuro: Allen talked about using the Apollo Neuro, a wearable device designed to improve resilience to stress, aid in relaxation, and regulate the nervous system. Incorporating technology into self-regulation practices can provide additional support for emotional well-being.

11. Supportive Partner: Allen emphasises the importance of having a supportive partner who can hold space for him. This supportive relationship dynamic can be a valuable resource for personal growth and emotional regulation.

Overall, this episode highlights the importance of a multifaceted approach to self-regulation and emotional well-being. There is huge value in combining traditional and alternative resources, as well as the significance of community and personal support in the journey of personal growth and healing.

Episode Time Stamps

00:00 Alan’s journey from rock bottom to success.
04:37 Feeling safe inside regardless of outside circumstances.
08:50 Struggled in marriage, now co-parenting. Stressful transition.
10:24 Had lawsuits, sold shares at low value.
14:13 Exploring new communities and modalities on journey.
17:11 Questioning led to self-discovery and alignment.
22:40 Resist urge to fix, allow others’ struggles.
26:28 Try different things and daily practices for growth.
28:36 App provides various functions to calm and energize.
33:36 People need to talk before offering help.
35:18 Discussing the challenge of holding space in a fast-paced, digital world.
39:13 Unconscious trauma may start before age 5.
43:22 Unconscious trauma can feel like navigating in darkness.
43:56 Neglected as a child, leading to negative beliefs.
49:00 Discovering personal patterns leads to valuable insights.
51:12 Daily meditation, journaling, supplements, and community support.
53:27 Preparing for big event in January 2024.

Alexia Leachman
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