Trauma Therapy is Failing: It’s Time to Rethink!

I think trauma therapy is failing, and I want to share with you why that is.

Trauma Therapy is Failing: It’s Time to Rethink Our Approach

Have you ever considered why so many of us still walk around carrying unhealed trauma?

It’s a point worth pondering, isn’t it?

The truth is, despite the abundance of trauma therapy methods out there, many people still find themselves with unresolved trauma.

Trauma therapy is failing!

So, let’s dig deeper and explore why that is, and then think about some way that we can redefine our approach to healing trauma.

The Arrow Metaphor: Why Trauma Therapy is Failing

Imagine being struck by an arrow. The pain, the gushing blood — it’s a mess.

What you need more than anything is to get rid of this bloody arrow, clean it up and let your body heal.

But here’s the thing.

A lot of trauma therapists will take a look at you standing there with your gushing blood, and start to take a closer look at the arrow.

  • Where did it come from?
  • Who shot it?
  • Was it being directed at you?
  • How come you got hit?
  • Why did this arrow go in so deep?
  • What wood is it made of?
  • Those fins are super cool – I bet that makes this arrow super fast and accurate!
  • Ooh – it’s been signed! What does that say? Is that an S?

Together you ponder over its material, the craftsmanship, who shot it, and the reasons behind it. They dissect and analyse the arrow, completely missing the key point.

lIt’s painful, it’s bleeding, and all you want is for that arrow to be gone.

No-one is removing the arrow.

But at least you know what your arrow is made of, and what the markings signify. And, someone even shared a great theory on why owl feathers were used.

This leads us to one of the key issues in healing trauma. The reason why trauma therapy is failing is because many trauma therapy approaches focus on everything but the essential task of removing the emotional ‘arrow’.

The Consequences of Unhealed Trauma

Eventually you develop a scab around the arrow and it’s become part of you.

As time passes and the ‘arrow’ remains lodged within you, your behaviour starts adapting because of it.

You adapt your behaviour because of this arrow…

  • You avoid narrow doorways.
  • You’ve started walking side-ways to avoid hitting people.
  • You start buying one-armed sweaters and jackets.
  • You avoid crowded places because you’ll get it caught in someone’s bag or coat (and that hurts!)

Your relationships suffer…

  • You want people to take a wide berth in case they knock it and send vaults of pain through your body. Others feel this and start to distance themselves (even online, which you find weird)
  • Some people avoid you altogether, because they’ve been hurt by your arrow. You didn’t do it on purpose #obvs It’s just that you have this big pokey thing sticking out and every now and then you jab someone in the eye with it #ouch

Connecting to Others With Similar Traumas

Thankfully, you’ve found some other people with arrows stuck in their shoulders.

They TOTALLY GET YOU!

You hang out together and celebrate your arrow injuries.

Some even help you to decorate your arrow. You start to get compliments on your arrow (and there’s a part of you that likes that).

Now you’re in the Arrow Gang and now you’re not so sure that you want to get rid of this arrow. You’ve got your arrow-friends to think of

  • Who will be your friend if you don’t have your arrow?
  • Will you still get arrow attention without an arrow?

You tell yourself “it’s best to keep the arrow”.

But, another part of you reminds you that this arrow is a total pain and you need to get help.

Oh the conflict!

You avoid situations that may cause more pain, alter your relationships, and even find comfort in a shared experience with others who have ‘arrows’ of their own.

This emotional scarring becomes a part of your identity, shaping your choices and interactions.
Then you find someone who says they can help you.

They take a close look at the arrow. “Hmmm, where did this come from? What’s it made of…” and they prod and fiddle with it. #uhoh

Your scab breaks open and now you’re bleeding all over the place again. And it hurts all over again!

You’ve just been re-traumatised!

This is why you hear people say things like…

  • “You’ve got tread carefully with trauma”
  • “You’ve got to be qualified to deal with trauma”
  • “If you’re not careful, you’ll re-traumatise someone”

Sadly, countless trauma therapists unwittingly contribute to the perpetuation of trauma by fixating on the arrow, inadvertently causing further pain and re-traumatising people; they are arrow prodders!

The Longer You Leave It, the Harder It Becomes

The thing is, the longer you walk around with this arrow in, the harder pulling it out becomes.
Obviously someone else can come along and yank it out.

But, will you let them?

Possibly not.

Why?

“Well, it hurt last time someone tried. And it didn’t work anyway.”

You’re not sure you’re up for that kind of experience again.

But that’s not the real reason.

THIS IS ????????????

The Real Reason You Resist Healing Your Trauma

The longer the ‘arrow’ remains in place, the harder it becomes to remove. And, the head trash attached to it grows heavier, making the healing process even more challenging.

Because now, you’re wrestling with things like…

  • “I can’t believe I’ve let myself walk around with this arrow for so long. What an idiot!”
  • “I’ve missed out on so much because of this arrow. I could have taken packed trains and busses… I could have travelled the world!”
  • “I look like such an idiot with this arrow in my shoulder.”
  • “I’ve pushed so many people away because of this bloody arrow…”
  • “People have been avoiding me because of this arrow – but maybe it’s actually because they don’t like me or that
  • “I’m not worth being with. Once I pull this out, I might learn that I’m not likeable or lovable – not sure I can handle that right now. Blaming it on the arrow feels better.”
  • “I’ve got a whole wardrobe of one-armed sweaters and jackets! I can’t believe how much money I’ve spent on all that! If I get rid of it, I’m going to need to buy new jackets!”
  • “Everyone knows me as the Arrow Girl, who will I be without this arrow?”
  • “What will happen to my Arrow Gang? They’re bound to kick me out – and then I’ll be all alone!”

The blame, shame and embarrassment is now what’s keeping this arrow in.

Before you can pull this arrow out, you need to deal with all that because that is your scab.

What you definitely don’t need is someone to tell you that your arrow is made of bamboo, the kind that you can only find in Brazil.

“Brazil? Ooh, who do I know in Brazil?
I need to figure that out!”

NO YOU DON’T!
STOP IT!

Pull the bloody thing out!

Removing the arrow is just the beginning.

True Trauma Healing

Healing trauma starts with acknowledging the emotional tethering that keeps the wound in place. It involves forgiving yourself for not addressing it sooner. Letting go of self-blame, shame, and pain is crucial as these emotions hinder the healing process.

Forgiveness is a big part of the healing process

Forgiving yourself for walking around with the arrow for so long, for all the things you couldn’t do because of it, and for the ways you adapted to accommodate its presence is essential.

It’s essential to heal the blame, shame, and any other feelings that this arrow has brought up for you.

But that’s not all…

Widening the Remit: Beyond Conscious Mind

Trauma often goes beyond our conscious understanding.

Ancestral trauma, subconscious influences, and in utero experiences are overlooked aspects of trauma healing. As are the influences of past lives.

Exploring these realms can provide valuable insights and potential areas for healing.

Traditional psychology-based therapy and the talking therapies often engages the conscious mind but often overlooks the deeper subconscious and ancestral influences.

For real trauma healing, a more comprehensive approach that delves deeper into the subconscious and considers ancestral trauma and early life experiences is necessary.

Trauma Healing is a Clean Up Job

In my experience, trauma healing involves removing the arrow, allowing the wound to heal, and letting go of the emotional baggage surrounding the arrow.

Once you’ve cleared all that out the way, you’ve created the conditions for you to heal.

Head Trash Clearance: A Potent Healing Modality

This is what Head Trash Clearance is brilliant at; clearing things out. The clue is in the name!

My Head Trash Clearance Wound Healing Activations neutralise the emotions, wounds and feelings that are connected to the trauma and its theme, which loosens it so that it can be released.

By addressing the ‘scab’ of emotional trauma, it can pave the way to autonomous healing.

These Wound Healings they are proving to be extremely effective.

Caroline is a Trauma-Informed Therapist, who specialises in ACE (Adverse Childhood Events) and here’s what she says about them;

“Alexia’s [Wound Healings] are just so perfect for the major clears and
cover absolutely everything you might believe happened
or didn’t happen or who might be with you as you do the clearing.

I’m feeling amazing, empowered, loving getting rid of all the rubbish that’s been with me for years.

I’m trained in so many things, NLP, Time-Line, Hypnosis, BLAST, EMDR, EFT, TLT etc
and none of them produced the results I’m getting with Head Trash.
Thank you Alexia!”

 

Creating the Conditions for Healing From Trauma

Healing trauma involves creating the right conditions for your inherent capacity to heal.

You need to clear out emotional baggage and address mental, emotional, and ancestral aspects of trauma.

This is where methods like Head Trash Clearance can be a game-changer, helping you clear out the emotional scabbiness and pave the way for genuine healing.

We Have the Capacity to Heal Ourselves

In my experience, trauma healing involves removing the arrow, allowing the wound to heal, and letting go of the emotional baggage surrounding the arrow. Once you’ve cleared all that out the way, you’ve created the conditions for you to heal.

Many people forget; it’s YOU that does the healing. Not the therapist or healer.

YOU!

You simply need to get rid of all the things that are preventing you doing what you’ve been built to do all by yourself; heal.

Our bodies do this, so why do we think that our emotional selves can’t do this?

What Next for Trauma Healing?

As we wrap up, it’s clear that healing trauma is more than just understanding and dissecting it. It’s about creating the emotional conditions for healing and looking beyond the conscious mind to uncover deeply rooted emotional influences.

1. Take a holistic approach

Trauma can get stuck in different parts of our being, so we need to look to healing approaches that work with the body, the emotional self, the brain, and the spiritual.

We are an eco-system and this needs to be acknowledged.

2. Routinely incorporate innovative healing modalities

There are many brilliant methods and modalities for healing trauma, with some working very quickly indeed. Techniques such as EMDR, TFT, Havening and Head Trash Clearance

Yet techniques like these are often considered fringe or only considered as a last resort. This is a shame.

3. Look beyond the conscious mind

The conscious mind is only a small part of what’s going on. Most of us know that; we’ve all seen that iceberg picture!

It’s imperative that we look beyond the conscious mind; that part of us that thinks it KNOWS us. It doesn’t. We are so much more than what we can remember.

This means exploring aspects like past life trauma, ancestral trauma and in-utero trauma.

4. Explore micro-traumas

We need to consider our hidden wounds and micro-traumas. Many people don’t think they’re even suffering from trauma! Healing from micro-traumas can have a huge impact on overall wellbeing, and our ability to heal from the bigger traumas we might have experienced.

That’s a Wrap!

No matter where you are on your healing journey, remember that it’s okay to seek help and explore alternative approaches to healing. Together, let’s reshape our understanding of trauma healing and work towards creating lasting emotional freedom for everyone.

I hope this has given you food for thought and empowered you to reflect on your own trauma healing journey.

Perhaps you’re a therapist or somebody that works with trauma, and maybe this has given you food for thought. Maybe you disagree with everything I said and you want to argue with me over it, that’s totally fine, too. I’m up for a debate because all I want to do is to help people to heal. And if it means highlighting stuff that’s not working, calling it out, having a healthy debate, a fun debate, then let’s do it.

Let me know in the comments!

Heal with me

If you’re interested in delving further into this topic and joining me on your healing journey, I invite you to explore my Healing Community, the Clearance Club. You’ll join a lovely group of self-healers and receive ongoing support from me and them. You can access resources and guidance to clear your head trash and heal your wounds. We have monthly group calls which provide additional support, and that means you can tap into a sense of community and collective healing. Find out more here: Clearance Club.

Alexia Leachman
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