The Neglect Wound

Are you a victim of the neglect wound?

Have you ever experienced a sense of neglect or emotional abandonment in your life?

This might be down to the neglect wound. This emotional wound cuts deep. It is often the result of carelessness, abuse, or indifference. , or unwillingness to help.

Are there times where you felt overlooked or emotionally abandoned? The likely culprits here would be your parents, family, friends, or partners. The neglect wound, like a hidden scar, might be influencing your emotional well-being. And more than you would care to admit.

Even though the wound is invisible, other people can spot it a mile away. This is because it also manifests in observable behaviours that anyone can see. People with the neglect wound often act differently than their peers.

But, like any emotional wound, you can overcome it with patience, care, and self-love!

How does the Neglect Wound come about?

Most of us picked up this wound during less-than-ideal childhood circumstances. Busy parents, single-parent homes, or unrealistic expectations can all contribute. Sometimes it’s unintentional, but the effects linger. Children left emotionally unattended or lacking in basic needs develop the Neglect Wound.

Parents don’t mean to neglect their kids; they get caught up in their busy 9-5s, and life! This is especially true if both parents work, or if either parent is absent. It is very common for children from single-parent families. The parent may lack the capacity or resources to meet the child’s various needs.

Sadly, many children experience neglect because their parents choose to ignore their needs. In other cases, parents may burden their children with unreasonably high expectations. If the child protests, the parents may punish them or ignore their cry for help.

The neglect wound arises in children who

  • experienced a lack of adequate emotional attention or care from loved ones
  • were deprived of basic or physical needs, like clothes or quality nutrition

Neglect can have long-lasting effects. It can lead to many long-term side effects. These include low self-esteem, attention disorders, violent behaviour, and self-harm.

How big a problem is the Neglect Wound?

Child abuse and neglect are common. Here are some interesting statistics that tell their own story;

At least 1 in 7 children have experienced child abuse or neglect in the past year in the United States. This is likely an underestimate because many cases are unreported. Source: CDC

In the United States, approximately one in four children experience child abuse or neglect in their lifetime. Of maltreated children, 18 percent are abused physically, 78 percent are neglected, and 9 percent are abused sexually. Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470337/

And the impact of this is far-reaching;

Young adults who self-reported experiences of childhood maltreatment had more instances of anxiety or depression over the next decade, compared to those without such memories. Source: King’s College London

Participants with official maltreatment records but no recollection of these experiences displayed similar emotional health patterns as those without any history of abuse. Source: King’s College London

The association between self-reported childhood maltreatment and future emotional disorders was partially due to the participants’ existing and past mental health, suggesting that emotional disorders could negatively bias memories. Source: King’s College London

Common fears associated with the Neglect Wound

This wound brings a fear of not mattering and reluctance to express needs. Adults may become people-pleasers, going the extra mile to avoid abandonment. They fear vulnerability, steering clear of situations that expose their true feelings.

The neglect wound can leave people feeling like they don’t matter. They may fear voicing their opinions or asking for more than what they have been given.

People with the neglect wound may avoid situations that make them feel vulnerable. They are afraid of showing their true feelings in case they are rejected or abandoned.

Here’s a peek at some common fears linked to the Neglect Wound:

  • Fear of Loneliness: Feeling alone even in a crowd.
  • Insecurity Around Food: Worries about eating habits and patterns.
  • Reluctance in Relationships: Fear of forming connections, afraid of neglecting them.
  • Commitment Hesitation: Fearing commitment and lacking coping mechanisms.
  • Decision-Making Avoidance: Shying away from making decisions for others.

The neglect wound also shows up physically. It can be apparent in many ways on a person’s body and can affect their wellbeing in severe and crippling ways.

Telltale signs you have the Neglect Wound

If you’re dealing with the Neglect Wound, you might:

  • Feel lonely even when they’re in large groups
  • Fail to prioritise their needs
  • Feel empty inside and have low self esteem
  • Aim for perfectionism
  • Have low expectations from others
  • Attempt to numb or ignore their own feelings
  • Neglect themselves
  • Malnutrition for children and irrational food choices and combinations
  • Stunted growth and inadequate bone and muscle growth
  • Poor decision making, understanding, developmental issues, attention disorders
  • Attention seeking behaviours regardless of age
  • Extreme attachment to certain individuals
  • Munchhausen Syndrome (When a person tries to attract attention on themselves by falsifying, causing, or exaggerating a factitious or real illness)

Recognising the Neglect Wound in Others

Wondering if you or someone you know carries the Neglect Wound?

Look for telltale signs like:

  • Feeling empty and lonely, even in large groups
  • Struggling to prioritise personal needs
  • Battling low self-esteem and chasing perfection
  • Trying to numb or ignore feelings, inadvertently neglecting oneself

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Can neglect wounds really be healed?

Absolutely! Healing the Neglect Wound takes patience and self-love. It’s about acknowledging the impact and taking steps towards healing. This is where using something like my Wound Healing Activation can help you.

If you’re on this journey, know that you’re not alone. If you buy my Wound Healing Activation, you will receive an invite to our Healing Community on Facebook, which means you can get the support of others on your healing journey.

Q: How can I support a loved one dealing with the Neglect Wound?

Discover practical tips on being a supportive friend or family member to someone navigating the healing journey. Reading a blog post like this will help you to better understand the wound they’re struggling with.

Having awareness around their points of vulnerability can help you to ensure that you’re mindful of these vulnerabilities when interacting with them. For example, someone with this wound will be sensitive to being left out. So be mindful of this and try not to make them feel this way.

How to heal the Neglect Wound

The Neglect Wound can be healed through education and a proper, well trained and supportive environment. Strong social connections may also help to ease some of the longer lasting consequences of neglect.

If you want to start healing this wound yourself then it’s possible. By healing the various aspects of this wound you can lessen the impact of it on your day-to-day life.

You can do this using Head Trash Clearance, (or indeed with any other emotional healing technique).

If you would like to try to heal the Neglect Wound with Head Trash Clearance, this is how I recommend that you proceed.

Explore the various aspects of this wound and break it down. Use this blog post to help you.

Ask yourself questions like this

  • What do I hate or find uncomfortable?
  • Where do I have resistance to things?
  • What do I crave or need?
  • What do I want to feel?

The answers to these questions will be worth addressing by using the Head Trash Clearance method. Use the answers to the above questions to help you to create your Head Trash Clearance To-Do List.

Then use the Head Trash Clearance method to heal each item on your list one by one. You can learn how to use the Head Trash Clearance method in my book, Clear Your Head Trash.

If you want to find out more about the Head Trash Clearance method you can read about it here.

Healing Emotional Wounds

When healing emotional wounds, consider that our wounds have different aspects.

Many emotional wounds have trauma at their root. This trauma might be significant traumatic events – what I call big T trauma. Or, this trauma could be accumulated micro-traumas. And let’s not forget other possible sources of trauma. These include the in-utero experience, past-life trauma, and ancestral trauma.

Other aspects that can be addressed are the fears, beliefs and triggers that are related to this wound. These have been mentioned above (which is why I mentioned them!).

Take the time to explore this wound and how it shows up for you. You can do this through journaling or meditating. My Wound Healing Activation product includes a Wound Healing Journal. It enables you to work through the various facets of the wound.

Doing this will help you to uncover how this wound is manifesting in you. Therefore, you will understand what healing is required.

Recommended Healing

If you would like to start healing this wound using Head Trash Clearance, here is the beginnings of a Head Trash Clearance To-do list.

This includes some recommended clearances you can start with;

  • being neglected
  • being left alone, being alone
  • putting yourself first
  • putting other people first
  • being selfish
  • feeling lonely
  • being ignored
  • asking for help
  • feeling insecure

Would you like to heal this wound?

If you would like to heal your emotional wounds using Head Trash Clearance, here are some resources to help you.

Wound Healing Activations

I’ve created a Wound Healing Activation for the Neglect wound. These Wound Healing Activations have been created so that you can start healing your emotional wounds yourself.

My Wound Healing Activations include;

Wound Healing Journal

My Wound Healing Journal includes lots of prompts to help you explore this this wound in yourself. The questions help you to explore the various facets of our emotional wounds so that you can better understand where the wound may have come from, who’s connected to it for you, and how it shows up for you.

My Wound Healing Journal also helps you to track your healing as you work through healing the wound.

Mini-masterclass on the Wound

I’ve created a video on this wound to help you think through how the Neglect wound might be showing up for you. Watch this with the Wound Healing Journal to hand so that you can make notes and identify the various aspects of this wound you need to heal.

Wound Information PDF

This is an information download about the wound that you can print off and refer to while journaling. This includes a recommended healing plan for further healing should you want to go deeper.

Healing Activation Session Audio MP3

This is a Wound Healing Activation audio that will explore the various aspects of this wound. This is deep working audio healing activation that will activate the healing within you by releasing a lot of the deeply buried memories and conflicts. This audio is equivalent to a session with me.

neglect wound

Head over to here check out my Wound Healing Activations

Clearance Club

This is my self-healing membership that includes a vault of healing resources to help you to heal various aspects of yourself and your life. It also includes monthly calls where you can get support on your healing journey. And if you want you can choose to access group coaching calls and group healing sessions.

Find out more about the Clearance Club here.

Both of these options include access to my community of self-healers on Facebook and Slack so that you can ask questions, get support and be part of a healing collective.

Explore other universal wounds

The Neglect Wound is one of many universal wounds that we all suffer from. Find out more about these in these related blog posts

Healing audio tracks for all of these wounds can be found in The Clearance Club. The Clearance Club is a vault of head trash clearance resources to help you free your mind of stresses and anxieties, and let go of those things that getting in the way of your happiness.

Remember, healing is a journey, not a race. If you recognise the Neglect Wound in yourself or others, know that change is possible. Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments – let’s create a supportive space. Together, we can heal and thrive.

Alexia Leachman
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